I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I need to calm my uterus...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
