How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
