so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
