she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
