If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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