I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I puked a lego.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
