its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Im part way to drunk.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
