we have officially lost it.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
