i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
