does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
