She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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