No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
