Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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