There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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