maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
