i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
