Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
