You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
