My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
