You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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