ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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