Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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