She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
