This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
