I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
