I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just pee around me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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