I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My sheets look like a crime scene.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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