this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
