he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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