seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
