I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
