I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
