Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
