I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
