At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
