youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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