Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
