You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Someone came in the potted fern
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
