your parents love me but you hate me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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