she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
