Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
