He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
