You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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