does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
