I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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