thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
