not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize