life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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