how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
