i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
