we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
